I woke up this morning. That’s a GREAT start.
I woke up this morning (no allusions to either Shania Twain OR Ke$ha so far ….) already thinking of a hundred things at once.
Primarily, what the HECK was I thinking when I decided to switch my major??
I was set in the English Department; I had a PLAN. I would take five years to earn my BA in English and to complete my education courses for my certificate. I had already lined up all my classes and I was excited to learn about the major poets and thinkers, the devices of advanced prose, and the semester I planned to take abroad as I studied Brit Lit at Oxford. I had already gotten the “ins” with the professor that would help me polish my writing and help me publish. It was all in the cards that I would write my first novel meant for publication during my Junior year and then I would complete it all up, maybe work through a second, and begin my authoring career just after college graduation.
Then, I had the nerve to switch my major.
I’ve done an incredible amount of independent research in the English field over my lifetime, and I planned to take the classes to elaborate on what I already knew and to hone my craft. However, this is not same process for music. Where I know quite a bit about about music and I’m a skilled musician, I am below amateur. Music has always been a very strong passion and a great release for me, but the depth of the field is so diverse and expansive.
So, there I sat on the stairs, wondering what I signed myself up for, realizing that this is a huge decision. I mean, of course I could always try it and switch again if I do not succeed, but I’m an “all my ducks in a row” type of person. It was easy to switch this time because I’m only taking GenEds, or classes that I will need to graduate, regardless of my major, and it didn’t mean wasting time and money in classes I would not need.
Anyway, I realized on that stairway what the main difference was: I had studied English extensively and I had not done the same for music. Therefore, if I want to feel as comfortable with music knowledge as I do with English knowledge, I have to take the same path! Today, I started researching concepts and composers I know about to find the deeper information and explanations for each. This seems to be the logical path to comfort in my higher education courses over this stuff!
I can’t just tiptoe around to see if I will be able to survive in a harder course-load. I need to just dive in without restraint and work to my limit to make this reality.
Why? Because, DANG IT, I want to be a band director!
First of all: you're such a dork. =]
ReplyDeleteSecond of all: I know you're more comfortable when you have a weirdly detailed plan, but the truth is you don't need it. College is the time when you have opportunities to explore different interest and find out what you want to do for the rest of your life. I know it would suck money-wise if you did change your major later on, but I'm sure you'll still enjoy your music classes, so it won't be for nothing.
I respect all your hard work, I really do. But promise me you'll remember to relax, or at least breathe, from time to time. Breathing's important.
Linnea, dear, I NEED YOU in my life. Thank you for always being such an amazing friend and such a great Gibbs-slap when I need one.
ReplyDeleteEven the times you doubt you were a great friend (I know you - I know what's in your head) you have been such a gift to me even by just existing.
I need to unbury myself. Lately, I've had so much going on, I've just shut everyone out. This hasn't necessarily been the greatest of plans. I need to talk to you more; you're such an amazing friend and I don't want to lose you! :)
Takes a dork to read a dork's blog. ;D