Legitly Legit

 

It’s, like, LEGIT raining outside.

I’m writing this post in my security-blanket composition notebook, reclined in the driver’s seat of my car in the school’s Jazz lot. My classes don’t start for another 15 minutes.

(I’m copying it here instead of doing my online finance class.)

Anyway, it’s legit raining outside. However, I passed this guy in his dirty and rusty white car (it totally had normal car potential – it was, like, 3 years old) and his window was down, letting in all this freaking rain inside the vehicle, because he was sucking at his cigarette like how the soldiers returning from WWI latched onto their ladies because they hadn’t seen them in, like, forever and two halves.

I’m like, “Dude. Seriously?”

Addictions are stupid.

People are stupid.

Online financing classes are STUPID.

 

Blah, blah, blah. Teacher cars. Rain. The light post is waggling back and forth, back and forth, in all this wind and it looks highly NOT safe. Rain. Pavement. Rain.

Yeah … I’m alive so that means my life is complicated. Like, legitly complicated.

Do people still say “legit”? I highly doubt it because I always catch onto new phrases right as they’re leaving mainstream and entered '”weird” … like “groovy”, “shenanigans”, “ralph” … they are perfectly useful words.

Anyway, I say “legit” because I think it makes you think I’m, like, really cool with piercings and stuff.

… I don’t have piercings. Well, my ears. But that’s like including your mother to the list of people you’ve kissed.

I don’t have piercings. I was raised Catholic and I’m terrified of Hell.

That means no piercings. (In a Craig Ferguson voice: “I look forward to your angry letters, emails, comments, and Facebook messages.)

I never did say why my life is complicated. You probably don’t care, though, because your life is impossibly complicated too. I bet you’re even stressed out too.

Am I psychic? Yes.

It’s 10:50. That means it is time for me to get out of the warmth and happiness of my car and go out in that. Freaking rain. I can feel my hair just bristling with excitement to turn into an afro right now.

You’re probably like, “Wow. 10:50. You suck.”

I love my schedule because several times a week, I get to sleep in until 7am … and then I have to do my online finance class so I don’t get behind. (Can you tell I adore that class?)

WELL, at exactly 6am, when I have to get up on my early days: BAM! BOOM! FIZZLE! CHHHHH!!!!!

God decided to wake me up with his cloud cymbals. It hasn’t stopped raining since and I haven’t slept since. Well played. So, yeah. You can laugh at me because I had to wake up with the normal fishies instead of being all warm, happy, and asleep. You’re satanic, just so you know. 

I think I’m going to willingly become a coffee addict. I realize that addictions are stupid, but I also accept the fact that I’m a huge hypocrite.

But you shouldn’t be. It’s bad. Hypocrites go to Hell and stuff.

See what I did there?

Annnnd it’s 10:53. I definitely need to get inside. I’ve been sitting her for 15 minutes and now I’m going to be late if I don’t get my booty moving.

Annnd I took the time to write that even though I’m running late.

And that. And this. And this. And thiiiiiiiiis.

Coffee addiction is GREAT.

(Legit.)